The Dreaded Question

FootRThat question.  “Have you ever used Karate on someone?”  Groan.  Whoever asks it might want a tale of how you beat up six bikers who were bothering a girl in a bar.  Maybe they’re even wondering if they can get you to tell some tall tale and then they’ll try to goad you into proving you’re as good as you say you are.  I don’t really like “that question” even when someone is merely curious.

I’ve written about “that question”  here .  People don’t ask it often because, well, let’s face it, I’m a middle aged matron.  I’m not exactly a hot little cutie who would capture the interest of a rapist.  I don’t hang around dark alleys, and I certainly don’t go into biker bars to pick fights for funsies.

In spite of all that, though, I did get asked “that question” again recently.  And I finally have a story that I’m comfortable telling.

My two co-workers, both ladies, really didn’t like going down to another department.  It’s isolated in a basement, and lurking down there was a bully.  They sent the new girl (me) down.

The guy was big.  And loud.  And grumpy.  I’ve dealt with adult bullies before.  When called to task, they say their motivation is something entirely different than what you “imagined” it to be.  This guy probably said to HR, “I was just blowing off steam about the workload her department was causing me.”  His words were all about the extra work but his hostility wasn’t directed at what I brought to him.  Oh no.  That day, it was all about putting the new girl in her place.  It’s not my imagination – my co-workers agree that’s how this guy rolls.

Have I mentioned the guy is big and the office is very, very isolated in a basement?  Not good.  I kept an eye on his position relative to me and on my position relative to both exits.

So the bully was there yelling at me and then next thing I knew he threw a wicked haymaker.  I caught his wrist and with a move modified from Bassai Dai kata I yanked his arm (dislocating shoulder, elbow, and wrist) and then completely shattered his elbow.  I stomped his knee and threw him to the ground.  I stomped and re-stomped his groin.  Then I used zip-ties to truss him up and I threw him into the FedEx bin with a shipping label to our least-favorite “study abroad” student agent somewhere overseas.

Nope, that’s not how it really went down.  I didn’t even lay a finger on the guy.  I never even so much as made a fist.  I kept up a cheerful attitude and responded with politeness and even good humor.  He slowly deflated like a beach ball when you open the valve.  I left him with a cheerful farewell.  But later I reported him to HR >:)  My co-workers and I don’t have to put up with that crap.

Yes, I did use Karate on that guy.  I controlled myself and in so doing I controlled him.  The next time I encountered him his boss was watching, and he was polite.  I sincerely hope that politeness lasts.  I’m not itching for a fight.  But it sure is good to know that I can take command of the situation by taking charge of my own responses.

Unexpected Treasures

treasure-chest-mdOne of the Affiliate YMCA black belts has a three-car garage she doesn’t use for cars.  It’s a small dojo.  Today (4/10/16) I was invited out for training.

I always love small classes, and I am always thrilled when I’m the lowest ranked in a small class. I always am challenged to keep up and usually learn loads of new things.  Today I finally got to find out firsthand what freestyle “pushing hands” are all about.  I had run across a mention of these exercises somewhere on the Internet, so I researched them but didn’t grasp the concepts at all until today when I actually got to try out this flow-y game of redirection, entrapment, and tagging.  After awhile, Affiliate Y Chief Sensei went several steps further with me – we used our whole selves in a similar flowy-type exercise in order to try and trap the other person.  It was a real mental challenge to evade, lure, deceive, and trap with movements that were both familiar and alien.

Today came with an additional bonus.  A new friend.  This delightful young lady black belt hails from Japan and is studying English at the Kaplan International school just down the hall from where I work.  I wasn’t expecting to meet her until tomorrow – College Sensei had announced last week she’d be joining us at College Dojo.  It was wonderful to meet this young lady in a less formal context and to get to know her (and work with her) over the course of a few hours.  We are both looking forward to seeing each other at College Dojo on Monday.

Steel Meets Stone

Something different today – A free-form poem

Steel Meets Stone

BouldersI see you, Young Prince
You come in to our office arrogant, prideful
Indeed your culture has much to be proud of
But also much to be ashamed of
Just like anyone else’s history

You don’t know it yet
But you have the potential to be better
Let me teach you

Because I am a woman, Young Prince, you expect that I am your servant
Your words are polite – a very slight deference to my culture
But your eyes and your posture show your upbringing

I stick to the policies of my workplace
You are not happy, Young Prince
I cannot, will not make an exception for you
Because frankly, you are not the only Young Prince I’ve ever seen
And rules are rules
Even for you
Especially for you
Because you have the potential to be better than you are

I see the fire simmering beneath your surface
I see the steel in your eyes
I am stone to your steel
You will shatter
I guarantee it

Standing behind you are the mighty warriors and kings of your nation
Perhaps your father, uncles, brothers trained you
Hand to hand
Edged weapons
Projectile weapons
Surprise!  I too am trained in combat – yes, a woman!
You don’t know this, but I do
And you wonder at the strength you see in my eyes

Authority rings in my voice and you are taken aback

You don’t know, Young Prince
Standing behind me is my grandfather
Who both entered and left this world fighting Death itself
Who cheated Death many times in a war against human monsters
Human demons who were far more frightening than you, Young Prince
Standing behind me are my Karate instructors
Who believe I will in time earn a place among them
Who have taught me to be strong and confident
And that first and foremost, the way of peace is to be preferred

Maybe you are better trained at fighting than I, Young Prince
Should you lay a finger on me, we will find that out
But it doesn’t matter
I have greater things to fight for
Preserving myself for the sake of my daughters, husband, parents
Protecting my untrained co-workers from you
Standing up for the principles other women have fought so hard to establish in my nation
All you have is generations of bad habits and wrong ideas
That and the element of surprise will give me an edge
Believe me, you are not prepared to face me in mortal combat
I think Sun Tsu would back me up on these points

I am not frightened by the flashes of your anger, Young Prince
In spite of what you think, this is nothing new to me
Younger, stronger, taller, perhaps better trained in fighting…
It doesn’t matter.  I am stone to your steel and
You will sit and wait your turn with the others, Young Prince
You will learn that fair is fair
In this way, I will teach you to be better.

When my daughter tells me, Young Prince
That in her social studies class you suddenly realized
“We treat women like garbage in my culture!”
I will know the sweet taste of victory.

And you will be better for your defeat.

Among Friends

Ceinture_De_Karate_Ou_Judo_clip_art_greenOne of the things I’ve tried to be aware of in my belt tests has been who else is there.  I’m finding that with each test I’m building very good memories.

Right before the start of my recent test for 5th kyu (green belt) I looked around and I realized that I knew all the karateka present and they knew me.  That’s what comes of training regularly in three dojos and intermittently in a fourth and fifth.  Being among so many acquaintances and friends made me feel at ease.  I was able to give and receive a lot of encouragement from all ranks.

When we lined up, standing to my right in Sempai position was my “Big Brother,” who has spent hours teaching me kata.  Somewhere behind me was a little boy whom I had taught for a few weeks when he was just beginning.  My mentor, my protégé, and me – all about to face the challenges of our respective tests.  I focused on that during meditation.  It was an incredible feeling.

I was very happy when Affiliate YMCA Dojo’s head instructor called out the moving basics.  I knew he’d come up with fiendishly tricky stuff for us to do, and I was not disappointed.  I actually thought it was fun – it felt like being in one of his classes.

I sparred with a teenage girl from Affiliate Y Dojo.  When we were all given a bit of a breather while the black belts tallied scores, she admitted to having been scared of me.  I told her she should ask her Sensei how to defeat me, then next time we spar she should beat the snot out of me.  Then we’ll both get better.  I’m looking forward to that.

It was really fun to receive my certificate from College Sensei, who has known me ever since I started hanging around the dojo just to watch my daughter do Karate.  Now I’m Sempai to his dojo.  I received my pretty new belt (5th kyu – green) from the hands of Affiliate Y Dojo’s head Sensei, who frequently leads Saturday training. As I bowed to him I remembered that he promoted to 4th Dan (4th degree black belt) the same day I promoted to 6th kyu (purple with a stripe).  I have great memories of his amazing performance of kata and bunkai for his test.

Near the end of the promotion ceremony I set aside my previous belt.  I thought about when I earned the belt itself (7th kyu – purple) and the stripe on it (6th kyu).  One of my Home Dojo senseis had to move away, and the last time I saw him, he presented me with the belt.  I remembered again the stripe on that belt was earned the same day that the Sensei who presented me with the new belt was himself promoted.  I got a little misty-eyed at all the memories centered around that purple belt.

As I tied on my new belt I sneaked glances around the room at all my friends and acquaintances and wondered what new memories I’ll be forging with them while I wear the pretty green belt.

February 2016 – Teaching Others 3

A new era is beginning in my Karate career…

graduation-hat-cap-md2/24/16 – College Dojo:  Really and Truly a Sempai

I’ve had a bit of practice being Sempai to this dojo – last quarter, the brown belt helper didn’t show up for about three weeks.  Then he was only present one class per week.  This quarter, until he moved, he was present for both classes each week, so I got to be a student.  So I feel like I’ve been a “substitute Sempai.”  Monday’s class we all had fun together, so it wasn’t until today that it hit me.  I. am. Sempai.

Today I did get a good bit of time to be a student.  But the last ten minutes of class I was handed a big chunk of responsibility.  Sensei needed me to supervise the colored belts as they sparred.

I started them off with ippon kumite (one-step sparring).  I gave the attacking side the freedom to choose one technique to throw, defenders blocked and counterattacked.  Then I had them fight one-minute rounds, different opponent each time.  I had to keep an eye on three pairs of fighters.  Not too bad.  Before long I realized not only do I have to make sure these kids don’t hurt each other, I have to give feedback!

So I started looking.  Wow.  Things that I’ve gone through and I’ve figured out jumped out at me, and I told them the same things I’ve been told myself.

“Watch your control.”

“Ease back a bit – she’s still learning how to spar.  Try working on defending.”

“Snap those kicks back if you don’t like being thrown to the mats.”

I guess some of what my Senseis have taught me has sunk in 🙂

So today – I really and truly feel like Sempai.  Not just a substitute but the real deal.

150115_Cottage2/25/16 -Home Dojo:  Substitute Sempai -or- Out of the Comfort Zone

Big Brother didn’t make it tonight, Sensei’s wife is planning on coming on Tuesdays unless something comes up.  I haven’t seen our other green belt since the seminars on the 13th, so that left me as Sempai tonight.

Sensei gave me a choice after warmups and a drill – did I want to lead the colored belts in moving basics or teach newbie white belts? My first impulse was to teach white belts.  But then I realized I wanted to run away from the other option.  I’ve never led moving basics for a group of colored belts and more experienced white belts.  I didn’t want to move outside my comfort zone.  So I put on my big girl panties and I told Sensei I’d like to lead moving basics.

Sensei asked for confirmation that I’d never done this before, gave me a little advice, and cheerfully split the class, moving off with the newbie white belts to the other end of the room.  As Sensei moved off, he gave me a smile and a nod – non-verbal communication that said he was proud of me and was confident in me.

It wasn’t easy.  It wasn’t without hiccups.  But I did it.  Not only that, I challenged everyone.  I also used the “scaffolding” method twice – once to tie kihon (basics) to kata (forms) and once to teach a drill that is almost but not quite a kata 🙂

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I’ve had a little time now to get used to the concept that I am Sempai.  I’m sure I’ll continue to be challenged and grow as time goes by.