College Dojo Sensei gave me an assignment and a test today. I had the white belts all class. Both College Dojo Sensei and I in the last month or so have taught them their first kata. Today I was to teach them the other three katas they need for their first belt test. This isn’t hard, as the patterns are the same – just insert a different block. I don’t think I’ve ever taught this particular lesson before. At the end of the class, College Dojo Sensei had the colored belts sit down. Suddenly I realized this was not only a pop quiz for the white belts, it was also a test of my ability to teach.
“Make me proud,” I whispered very, very softly.
They did. Sure enough three students weren’t exactly stellar in their performance. But they tried, and really, what more can I ask? I think I passed my test too.
After class, I received marching orders from College Dojo Sensei to concentrate on those students who want to test for their first belt. He’d noticed that towards the end of class I had split the white belts into two groups – those who wanted to practice on their own and those who wanted to work at a slow pace with loads of input from me. College Dojo Sensei told me he wants them to sink or swim after today. We only have five classes left this quarter, so really, only four more lessons and then the test.
Four more lessons. Three students stumble all over themselves when turning in kihon kata. But I’ve got my orders and I need to get used to the fact that I am not allowed to hold their hands anymore unless they ask me for help before or after class. I need to be content with those who are not struggling. It’s time for me to realize time is running out.
I still have some teaching habits left over from my background. When I was a teenager, the dojo where I studied had three 90 minute classes weekdays and one or two Saturday classes. This allowed plenty of time for any given student’s development. I taught “first lesson is free” people and the newbies who weren’t quite ready to integrate into normal classes. Later in life I home schooled my children for several years. I allowed them to develop on their own timetable – this was vital as one is gifted and the other is special needs. In a nutshell, I’m still learning about teaching groups on a schedule.
Both Home Dojo Sensei and College Dojo Sensei have had to remind me that newbies are on a timetable. They have to be moved along, and whatever they’ve got is whatever they’ve got. Every two months at Home Dojo a new batch of newbies comes in. College Dojo’s schedule lines up with the college’s quarter system because it is, after all, a class that students take for credit. Oh, and have I mentioned the students in both dojos get only one hour twice per week? There comes a point where I have to let go of the newbies who aren’t quite up to speed yet.
On one level, I understand. Three people shouldn’t drag down the other nine. Room must be made for new newbies. Time is limited. But on another level, it rubs me the wrong way. I don’t like watching people struggle when I know that just a tiny bit more time and attention will make a huge difference. I don’t like giving up on people. I can’t wave a magic wand and conjure up four black belts to help out with class, or summon a Púca to create more time for our workouts. I guess I just have to carry on and be proud of the work I’ve already invested in each person I’ve taught.
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