Category: COVID-19

Training Online

Before COVID-19 closed everything down I had a habit of showing up early to class in order to take advantage of floor space. Since then my husband and I made some changes to our home so that I now have more room than ever to practice karate. Space isn’t a consideration anymore when it comes to how early I show up for class. But it’s still good for me to keep the habit of showing up early. In the process of adjusting to online classes I learned that I can get lost in what I’m doing and lose track of time. Ironically, I dislike having to keep track of time and I also hate having to remember to set alarms. Accordingly I now get Zoom up and running right away when I come in. This means I could be right in the middle of figuring something out when a sensei comes online. Invariably I get some feedback – which is good! The first couple of times this happened were unsettling to me. In the generation I grew up in, people on TV couldn’t hear or see you. We figured this out by the time we were four years old. The first time I was startled by a sensei’s appearance and subsequent feedback the first thought that popped into my head was, “Big Brother is watching me.” I had to laugh at myself.

Maybe I was too young when I read George Orwell’s chilling dystopian novel Nineteen Eighty Four (written in 1948). I was 14 years old in 1984 when I checked out the novel from my high school library. I thought it would be cool to read Orwell’s vision about the year I was living in. That book scared me more than the classic horror movie “Alien.” As an introvert I have always valued my privacy and my time alone. The pervasiveness of the “telescreens,” the TV screens that were also video cameras, creeped me out. We didn’t have that technology in 1984, and frankly I hoped we never would. We have the technology now and it’s not all bad.

Unlike the people living under Big Brother’s watchful gaze we are using our “telescreens” mostly for benign and beneficial activities, including martial arts. After a couple of weeks of practicing on my own I started pining away for my little dojo (karate school) tribe. I know how to practice on my own, I’ve learned about conditioning, I know at least some of what I need to work on. I value having time and space to breathe and explore. But it’s not enough. Those first two weeks of quarantine before our sensei(s) got online classes up and running were kinda miserable for me.

But, but, but, but – there’s tons of videos out there, right? I could learn from anyone, right? Yes and no. If I were starting from scratch in a new martial art I would be at a severe disadvantage without a live instructor. If I did not have a good foundation in that art I would simply be mimicking. Mimicking will not get you very far in any martial art. I know – I’ve helped teach a very gifted dancer who is amazing at mimicking what he sees. But even he needs an instructor who is right there, who can see things in three dimensions and who can move in three dimensional space. Not to mention touch – not just to correct but to feed and receive techniques. Physical contact is something we marital artists cannot do right now, and at least in my state we won’t be able to do for quite some time to come. At some point I will need to test the new things I’ve learned on real people who might just show me exactly where things break down.

What I can do with pre-recorded videos is I can gather and analyze information. I love bunkai (interpretations of kata), so I’ve been watching videos about bunkai. I understand that there will be differences between what I see and what I was taught due to style differences. I also understand that one practitioner’s bunkai is not necessarily going to be in line with another practitioner’s bunkai – and that’s OK! I do have to understand the bunkai my own sensei (instructor) taught me and, someday, I will teach others what was passed down to me.

Here’s the thing – I don’t go watching videos about bunkai for kata that I haven’t memorized. But I do confess that a couple of years ago I did use a video to learn a new kata. I was supposed to be learning that kata. I made sure the video was from the same series of videos recommended to me by one of my sensei(s). I’d seen it practiced in the dojo so I had a rough idea of what to expect. I most certainly did not rely on the video alone to learn the kata. But there was one huge advantage the video had over live instruction. I could turn my back to the screen and watch the video using a mirror.

Long-time followers of this blog might remember that I am challenged with directional dyslexia. I have any number of coping mechanisms. As I predicted a few years ago I have a pretty good grasp of the basic principles of karate. I’m sure that’s exactly where I’m supposed to be on my journey right now given my current rank (i-kyu). But still… it’s a huge relief to be able to let go of right and left from time to time. Of course this doesn’t work for kata but it does work for learning complex drills. I had no idea of the scope of my learning challenge until now. It’s probably like someone who was born with impaired hearing getting a cochlear implant. Except… I can use the implant only intermittently and I’ll have to give it up at some point in the future. Totally worth it.

I miss the fellowship. I miss all the things that I cannot do without other people.

There are some learning methods I’ve picked up during this time of quarantine that I will continue to use in the future. It’s far easier for me to take videos of myself in my new space so I’ve been doing way more of that. This tournament season is shot but I’m using my judging skills on myself. Normally I have pen and paper handy in my gear bag so I can scribble notes after class. That’s fine, but I’ve learned that sometimes I need more. Nowadays after class I sometimes open up a video of myself or of someone else in one monitor and in the other monitor I’ll type notes. This is especially nice to do for kata. I can remember far more about the feedback I received when I have a video (even if it’s not me or my sensei) to jog my memory. And who knows? Maybe after all this is over the karate organization I belong to will use online classes for supplemental training.

P. S. – Ironically, I’ve become a minor character from Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty Four. I am now the “Physical Jerks” lady on the telescreen because I lead an early morning online fitness class via Zoom. I was scheduled to start this class in person at an athletic club the very week we were shut down due to COVID-19. I went online instead. What can I do but laugh?

Coping with the Pandemic

Folks, my world is being shaken by COVID-19. My life is changing every single day. The college where I work is a ghost town and next week almost all staff will be working from home. I really miss the students, who are taking their classes online now. Trips to the grocery stores are depressing – empty shelves and people keeping their distance are real downers. I can visit my parents only if we’re outside and at a distance from one another. Even before COVID-19 my husband and I were thinking that declaring bankruptcy could be a viable option, and now it’s looming. My dojo hasn’t met this week. I feel like my world is shrinking, imploding. I am stunned by how much has happened in so short a time.

I took a week off from working out. I needed the time to wrap my head around the new reality and to grieve a bit for the things that need to be set aside for the time being. I came to the realization that I did not need worries and anxieties about Karate on top of everything else that is going on right now. I knew those worries about my Karate were actually quite silly. Ordinarily, I could easily dispel those anxieties with any number of coping mechanisms and just plain hard physical work.

I just didn’t have the energy this past week.

So I let go. Sort of.

I prepared for the weeks to come and these preparations solved a multitude of problems. My husband needs quiet as he works from home – which he’s been doing for several months now. I need an area big enough to accommodate kata (forms) practice. My husband was in a big basement room with an outside entrance to the driveway. I was in a teensy bedroom in the basement. We were using the wrong spaces.

This past weekend my husband and I concentrated on making the teensy basement room into an office. My husband now has a door he can close. No one will traipse through with sacks of groceries. We focused on getting that office functional ASAP. My new workout room was a complete disaster area for most of this week. And that’s OK.

Like I said, I needed time. Emotionally and psychologically, I was drained.

I know exercise is good for what ails you, but sometimes it’s hard to get the motivation to do so. I assured myself with the fact that I never intended to set aside exercise and karate permanently. I knew all I needed was to come back rested and with a fresh perspective on the little hangups that seemed so enormous while I was dealing with the grief and strain caused by the COVID-19 situation.

Wednesday night I felt guilty that the exercise/craft room wasn’t quite done yet. Throughout the week I picked through craft stuff and boxed up quite a bit of it for the thrift store, but there were still a few piles of stuff on the floor. I decided the space didn’t have to be perfect to be usable. I shoved what remained of the mess into a corner of the craft area. As I worked I realized that I was happy. I vacuumed the floor and went to bed excited about resuming my workouts.

The new, bigger space is wonderful. I only have to do a little scootching when practicing the kata (forms) which require the most space. I never realized how annoyed I was at the constant scootching I had to do in the little room. Thursday, when I worked out for the first time since the last class day, I felt free and I felt… Flabby.

Oh well. I guess I’ll just have to set the bar a little lower than it was for just a little while while I rebuild. I’ve lost a little ground physically. Mentally, though, I’m back. Yes I’m sad about the cancelled classes, yes, I feel lonely for my little tribe, and yes I am frustrated that tournaments are being cancelled left and right. But now that I’ve wrapped my head around the other things that are going on in my life I’m ready to deal with this.

I have to stop feeling guilty about the week I took off because it gave me a little bit of breathing room – a little time to gradually work through some things as I prepared my new and better workout space. Of course I’m going to miss my fellow karateka, but I also know how to work out on my own. Prior to the cancellation of what would have been my next tournament I was, like every year, tearing my hair out trying to pass the online test for renewing my kumite (sparring) judging license. Now I have quite a lot more time to study (God knows I need it). I had one excellent tournament before everything was shut down and the 2nd and 3rd place medals I won were good, solid wins against some excellent ladies. Even if all the tournaments are cancelled this season, I will still have the good memories from that one tournament. Most importantly, to me anyway, I have more time and space to improve my karate in preparation for my Shodan (1st degree black belt) test.

Dear reader, my answer to the question, “When will you test?” remains the same: I am preparing for that test, have been since November 2018. Frankly, nothing is certain given the COVID-19 situation. I’m hoping for the best – that all this will be a memory in a month. But… Reality is that I will have to be clever and diligent in my study, and I might have to wait quite a long time to test (which could be true anyway regardless of any stupid virus). God knows I have a LOT to work on. And thanks to the little break I took this week I am ready to buckle down again. I am hoping this discipline will help carry me through the challenges in the weeks and months to come.