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1974.  I was in preschool then.  Outside the library I passed a little Douglas Fir tree growing in the small plaza outside the library.  I inhaled the scent of books and library paste as Mom and I walked towards the doors.  Once inside the doors I ran several steps straight to the window of a courtyard and watched water trickle down an abstract metal sculpture fountain.  I lingered for a few minutes, fascinated.  After awhile, Mom and I turned right and walked through another set of doors and into the library proper.  On the right were books, books, and more books.  I ran to pick out my favorites from the shelves under the window you see in the picture behind the tree.

2014.  I passed the trunk of the fifty foot (15.24 meters) high tree growing in the little plaza outside the community center that once was the library.  I knew the scent of books and library paste was long gone, but I smelled the air anyway.  Once inside the doors I took three strides to the window of the courtyard to see what had replaced the old fountain.  I turned away after a quick look then turned right and walked through the other set of doors, noting the button that would open them if needed.  On the right was a wall and a door – a closed off space with no shelves, no books.  Behind the door was a big empty room waiting to be filled with people, food, and good memories.  It was time for me and my new friends to set up the room for the annual Christmas party for the organization of dojos we belong to.

I worked hard with friends – most of whom outrank me, two who have taught me and my daughter.  As the time for starting the party approached, more people helped to set up and I found myself coordinating one part of the efforts – people who outranked me had asked how they could help, then they cheerfully fulfilled my requests.  After helping a family with three toddlers get food I went through the buffet line myself and sat down at a table with a new acquaintance and his family.  I ached for the company of my daughter, home sick with the flu.

We were given a chance to eat and fellowship, then awards were presented.  Right in the spot where some of my favorite picture books had once awaited me under the window by the tree, my Senseis honored me and gave me an award.  I about cried – the recognition meant so much to me.  I accepted another award on behalf of my sick daughter, remembering how she had picked out books from the same spot, remembering the Empty Bowls charity event she and I attended a few years later in the same room I was standing in now.  So many happy memories rooted in one spot just a few yards from a tree that has grown up with me.

 

All too soon the Christmas party was over.  Many hands were available to help clean up and most of the work was done in the space of half an hour.  Those of us who had been there from the first stayed on until the work was done to the satisfaction of the community center’s manager.

As I helped clean the floor, I took a moment to look out the window at the trunk of the tree.  I imagined my four-year-old self standing in the exact same spot.  That little girl could never have imagined her grown up self – a student of karate mopping a floor alongside two mop-wielding instructors.  A mother wishing her nearly grown child had been healthy enough to be there to hear the affirmations and the challenge for the new year, and to receive the award herself.  A woman striving for personal growth, physical health, and the means to defend herself and others if need be.

 

At last the work was done and the manager signed us out, remarking that we were remarkably quick and thorough workers.  She made it clear we were more than welcome to hold future events there anytime.  Outside, I took a moment to look up into the night-darkened branches of the tall Douglas Fir tree.  Fog obscured the night sky.  The tree was enchantingly beautiful in that moment.  I started to think about how I’ve changed and how that tree has changed.  My thoughts were interrupted by the welcome voice of one of my Senseis.

“Is that the tree?”

“Yes it is, Sensei.”

 

I guess at some point I had told Sensei about how small the tree used to be.  I was flattered he remembered.  I took one last look up into the branches high above me and wondered what changes the tree would see in the years to come.  Then I fell in step behind the people I’ve trained under and worked with so I could participate in the lingering chatter and wish them well on their journeys home.

On the way home I passed by the storefront that had once been the dojo I trained in when I was a teen.  I wished my parents and I could remember my old Sensei’s last name.  The dojo was part of a different organization.  Last Spring at a tournament I took the opportunity to talk to the head of that organization.  He doesn’t know where my old Sensei is now.  I wish I could find her and talk with her again.  I wish she could meet my daughter.  I wish I could thank her.

Merry Christmas, Sensei, wherever you are.

P.S. – I actually wrote this article several days ago.  Since then, while visiting a sister dojo I met another student of my old Sensei who had started after I left.   He remembered her last name.  What a great pre-Christmas present!  Hopefully I’ll find her soon!!!

Some of us pursue training in bo, sai, etc.  But all of us karate-ka train to use four very important weapons.  I’m talking about our hands and feet.  Many of you dear readers probably already know good methods of caring for your weapons.  If that is the case, you might want to pass along this article to some of your students.   I know I didn’t just figure these things out on my own – many people shared tips with me (including my  Mom, one of the Senseis at a sister dojo, and a few people in a Google+ Martial Arts community).  If this article can help someone, I’ll be happy.

Finger Nails and Toe Nails: This is a no-brainer, right?  Wrong.  Every once in a blue moon, a student will have to be reminded to cut fingernails and toenails.   My nails grow pretty fast, so I have to keep after them about once a week.  My nails are a bit tough, so I use big toenail clippers on my fingernails and big toes, then little fingernail clippers on the rest of my toes.   I leave just the tiniest rim of the white part of my nails.   If you’re having problems with your nails, ask your doctor for help – sometimes you just have to eat more carrots (Jesse Enkamp would probably say to eat more carrot cake).

Appealing Feet:  When I was a teenager, the other kids and I would peel our feet and Sensei would make us clean it up and do pushups…  Ah, the memories!  Fascinating as it was to peel our feet, the newly exposed areas were tender and painful.  When I resumed training, I knew better than to peel my feet, but my left big toe would slough skin from time to time anyway.  That was fixed mostly by correcting foot position while moving in fighting stance.  I achieve further prevention on my big toes and heels by the use of a Ped Egg, which is basically a small cheese grater for feet.   It beats pumice stones hollow.  I use the Ped Egg once a week after I trim my nails.

 

Dry Skin:  Lotion, of course.  But it’s not so simple if your skin gets severely dry in the winter, like mine does.  This recommendation comes originally from some fishermen:  Gold Bond Ultimate Intensive Healing Hand Cream.   The fragrance is not too bad – definitely not flowery, so guys, you can use this stuff.  I tend to be allergic to perfumes and fragrances, but this lotion doesn’t bother me.  Every winter night right before bedtime I use this on my hands.   If I skip a night, I’m usually sorry the next day.  Hydration of the body helps, a humidifier helps, but nothing beats this lotion for healing and prevention.

Shoes:  If your shoes hurt your feet, spend loads of time to find the best deal on shoes that fit you properly.  You should be able to run, stop quickly, and change direction instantly in any pair of shoes you wear.  Ladies, ditch the heels.  If you’re not convinced, go to a nursing home sometime – spines and feet get misshapen and crippled from decades of wearing heels.  Replace shoes as needed – my sneakers wear out every three months.  I know it’s time to replace them when there’s either a structural failure or my feet start hurting.

That’s it for basic weapon care.  Check with your doctor if you have more severe problems, and take good care of your body as a whole.

I’ve found out a lot about myself in the past six months since I began training in Karate again.  I suspect I’m in for more surprises both pleasant and unpleasant.  I’ve had one person ask, “Have you ever had to use Karate on someone?”  I think the answer is, “Yes – I’ve had to use it on myself!”  I say that because so far, I have been my own worst enemy.  That said, I’ve taken some baby steps in the right direction and I’d like to share them with you.

Knocking Out Self doubt

Assuming you’re not suicidal, would you deliberately ingest poison?  An absurd thought, right?  Well, that’s what self doubt does.  It poisons your spirit.  It took months for me to get over self doubt and resume Karate training after some 27 years away from the dojo.  After quite a bit of wheedling and coaxing from three Senseis and my daughter, I decided to give it a try.  Sure I about died during warm up, sure I flapped around like a spastic duck, but after that first class, I stopped drinking the poisons.  I stopped thinking of myself as old and medically unfit.  My performance was laughable, but trying – simply trying – was a triumph.  Over time, I discovered if I start doubting myself, I should try to engage the challenge.  I might fall flat on my face, but then again, I might be pleasantly surprised.  For instance, I found out at Gasshuku (extended training over a weekend) my endurance is way better than I thought.

Leg Sweeping the Bad Attitude

I used to have a bad attitude about sparring.  I’d tense up, throw sloppy technique, get clobbered, be short of breath, and walk away sulking.  Yes, I’m way old enough to know better, LOL.  My daughter and I were visiting a sister dojo a couple months ago.  The Sensei there called for two-against-one sparring.  Sensei gave some guidelines, then my teenage daughter and a new friend gleefully looked at me.

My daughter said, “Let’s get her!”

I didn’t much like sparring, was not all that good at it, and Sensei was asking for two against one sparring.  To top it off, there were two teenage girls grinning mischievously at me!  Suddenly I realized how ridiculous this really was, and I had to laugh.  It was like light was infusing my soul, and something dark was slinking away never to be seen again.  I had tons of fun.  My daughter literally kicked my butt, and she and I still laugh about it.  Best of all, analyzing it later, I figured out gosh, there really is a connection between kata and kumite.  Fighting against two was more like kata, that’s probably one of the reasons I enjoyed it so much!  Since then, I’ve been a lot more willing to work on my kumite skills – which is good because, well, um… I need to build those skills.

Sparring with Circumstances

If I ever have to fight for my life, I’m going to have to learn that circumstances won’t always be in my favor.  The very first workout at Gasshuku, the sun was in my eyes.  I told myself to deal with it because maybe that might happen in a real fight.  During promotion at Gasshuku, I slipped on dewy grass a few times.  I told myself to keep going – I won’t always be able to choose the terrain.  In fact, I’d already practiced kata a few times on sand and shingle, so slipping wasn’t anything new.  At home, I hesitated at the idea of practicing karate in the garage because of the hard concrete.  Then I hit upon the idea of training in what I wear every day – shoes and all because that’s probably the most likely scenario for a fight.  I seriously doubt an attacker would let me pull a gi out of my purse as I run to the nearest telephone booth to change!  Likewise, with each new little owie (including a contact lens going wonky after a tap to the eye), I told myself to just keep on because everything I experienced could happen in a real fight for survival – that and more.  Granted, sometimes we are overcome.  For that situation, I’ll refer you to my article on Success (trust me on this).

 

Bowing to Leadership Responsibilities

“Hi, is our Water Fitness instructor going to be here?”  I asked the Aquatics Manager as I dripped my way into her poolside office.

“No, she called in sick.  Would you like the list of exercises?”

I thanked the manager as I took the laminated printout from her hand and stepped back to the pool.  My daughter and I started the workout as people started showing up for class.  I explained in simple English the teacher was sick and I had a list of exercises.

“You teach!”  A Hispanic woman who doesn’t speak much English piped up, smiling trustingly at me.

Three or four more ladies who don’t speak much English overheard the first lady’s request.  They all smiled at me, looking at me expectantly.  I drew in a deep breath as I realized all of us had driven or bussed to the Y, changed into swimsuits (with some body types this is a challenge), showered, endured cold air and cold water…  If nothing else, we needed to generate some body heat!  I smiled and said, “OK.”  I proceeded to lead by example and demonstration (often hopping out of the water) while working with the additional challenge of language barriers.  Ever since then, I’ve been the substitute teacher for Water Fitness class.

Just the other day our instructor was sick again, but this time I wasn’t able to get the outline of the workout.  The ladies asked me to lead anyway.  They trusted me more than I trusted myself.  I was surprised to find I remembered almost everything.

Why do they look to me for leadership?  I’m so very different from most of them! I’m one of the younger members, I’m white, comparatively athletic, and I speak only English fluently.  I think I have an inkling thanks to a good article about character qualities that Martial Arts gives us.  You can read Jaro Berce’s article, “Learning Leadership from Martial Arts – II” if you want to learn more.  It seems people are drawn to these characteristics.  This is sometimes difficult for an introvert like me!  I define introvert as someone who expends energy while with others and thus is drained after awhile, as opposed to an extrovert – one who gains energy from everyone around them.

As an introvert, my first inclination was to deny the empathy I felt with these ladies about the situation, to shy away from the responsibility and to not use the gifts I’ve been given to lead the class.  These ladies are struggling with some severe medical issues – weight, pain, surgeries, arthritis…  What kind of person am I if I’m in a position to help and I ignore their needs?  I’d undermine my personal development for sure if I avoided my responsibility.

What’s Next?

I expect I’ve quite a lot ahead of me, and maybe it’s best that I don’t know everything that I will face in the years to come!  I’m sure most of you black belts are chuckling and saying, “Wait until she has to deal with students!” and some of the rest of you black belts are poking the others in the ribs and saying, “No, wait until she has to deal with some of the students’ parents!”  I’m laughing at the thought, and I’m very grateful I have a few years to develop the skills I will need!

Definitions of the word “core” include references to centrality and importance.  If I understand correctly, the core muscles are the muscles in your trunk both front and back but not necessarily the shoulders.  They support your spine.  You exercise those muscles when you do leg lifts, crunches, and (ugh) pushups.  In karate, we punch and kick from the core – our legs and arms snap like whipped towels if we throw the techniques properly from the core.  Just as your body has a core, your spirit has a core as well.  Most of what we do comes from the core.

A good place to see what the core of a person looks like is in a nursing home.  Everything superficial is gone.  Careers are over.  Any fame won is largely forgotten by the general public.  No one looks like the chiseled young people you see in swimsuit advertisements.  Health is by and large gone.  Some are as helpless as newborn babies.  What’s left after all has been stripped away by the ravages of old age?  The core of who they are.  It’s sobering to see one elder bitter and unhappy while another is still smiling and blessing the socks off of everyone within hearing.  Even when someone is afflicted with Alzheimer’s, the core of who they once were peeks through for a fleeting moment every once in awhile.

 

Personal development is key to strengthening your core.  Martial arts are valuable for developing physical and mental control.  Spiritual activities (for example: church worship services) have proven their value throughout the ages and across cultures.  There are many ways to work on your core.  It is vital that you do so.  Someday you might find everything else stripped away.

Here in America, we are celebrating Thanksgiving today.  Being thankful is one of many very powerful ways of developing your core.  Even if you’re heartbroken and crying today, find a way to be thankful for the gift of tears because crying is a healing process.  Look outside the window.  Even gloomy skies and rain are a blessing – just ask anyone who lives in a desert.  If you’re out in that cold, gloomy rain, please seek out warmth and fellowship – shelters throw their doors wide open today and you’ll definitely find plenty to be thankful for – maybe even a bit of hope for your future.  If you can find one little thing to be thankful for, you’ll start to get better at finding more things.  Your “core” will get stronger.

 

If you want to explore the core of yourself further, Sensei Andrea Harkins has a great article that goes deeper and gives specific steps to help you think about what she calls “The Genuine You.”  Don’t worry – you don’t have to spend hours of meditation contemplating your bellybutton, but Sensei Andrea will make you think!  She also has a related post about seeking something you can be passionate about.   The great thing about passions is they come from your “core” and nourish your spirit at the same time!

What does the core of your self look like?  What are you made of?

This is in response to an article by Troy Seeling posted on Jackie Bradbury’s blog – Click here to read it!

When I was 13 my parents shoved a Parks & Recreation catalog at me and told me to find something to do.  I tried Karate because I was curious – would I be breaking boards within a week?  What did karate people do anyway?  I was also having trouble with bullies at school.  From the first few minutes I was hooked.  I felt stronger every class, so that kept me at it.  I wasn’t thrilled about doing Karate only twice a week and taking three-week breaks between quarters. My Dad looked into other dojo(s) and found one that met nearly every day.  I spent 3 or 4 years training hard.

My Sensei honored me by asking me to help teach the little kids’ class.  I enjoyed it, but I started getting sick.  All the time.  I even got chicken pox that year!  My training went to pot and my grades at school were in jeopardy from all my absences.  I got so discouraged I quit altogether.  I wish I had simply bowed out of teaching little kids, then I would’ve been fine.  But I was a dumb mixed-up emotional teenage girl and didn’t think of that.  Years went by and I did next to nothing for exercise.  Life happened, I went to college out of state, kids came along, yada yada.

When my kids were little I spent a good deal of time bed-ridden because of illnesses they dragged home.  When my kids were a little older and not bringing in the germs as much, I tried teaching Sunday School at church.  I would always be sick by Thursday.  My doctor did some testing and found out I have IgG subclass 2 deficiency – a fancy way of saying that my body simply does not produce enough of one of the germ-fighting substances the body uses to fight off illness.  So far this winter, I’ve been healthy, but all the kids in my current dojo are old enough to stay home when sick and they practice good hygiene.  That wasn’t the case with the little kids I used to teach when I was a teenager.

I know now I need to be very clear about my future in karate – I have particular dojos in mind where I would love to eventually teach because the demographics are favorable to my condition 🙂

My daughter started training in September 2013 at the community college, took both quarters then continued at the local YMCA.  Secretly I was eating my heart out every time I went to pick my daughter up from karate.  I’d often come early just to watch her.  Sometimes I’d meet her for the light lunch she’d eat before class, and I’d watch the entire class.  I volunteered at tournaments and felt stabs of regret.  I was proud but jealous at promotions.

I had my excuses.  Some I shared, some I didn’t.  My daughter and three Senseis persisted in their efforts to get me on the mats again.  The straw that broke the camel’s back came after a tournament and pizza party in early June of this year.  My daughter said, “You could help me with kata and I could help you with kumite!”

Two days later I was back on the mats.  It was a birthday surprise for my daughter.  I dropped her off at the door of the Y as usual, then parked the car, ran into the locker room, and changed clothes.  The look on her face when I showed up in a gi was priceless.

I survived.  I knew I’d get in shape eventually, so I persisted.  I found that a few things I’d been concerned about shouldn’t have kept me from training again because they simply aren’t a problem.  I’ve re-claimed my love for karate.  I don’t feel middle-aged when I’m in class.  I feel young, capable, and strong.

I keep on practicing because as an adult, I see there are depths and dimensions to the art that I wasn’t able to grasp as a teenager.  There’s enough to keep me busy for as long as I am able to do Karate.  This weekend, I was privileged to be able to watch brown belts earn their black belts.  Among them was a 70 year old gentleman.  If he can do it, I can too.