There’s a variation of a push up that I had not done in awhile because I’d forgotten it exists. You go down in a regular push up. After you come up you grab a hand weight in your right hand. Bring the weight to your chest, turn your body to the right, extend your right arm up to the ceiling, bring the weight into your chest again, turn your body to the floor, then put the weight on the floor again. Do a pushup, then do the same thing on the left side of your body.
At a training session for Karate I was plugging along with five pounds, which is what I had been using while training intensively earlier this summer. I came down for a pushup. When I came back up the dojo Sensei replaced my hand-weight. It looked bigger.
Sometimes thoughts and emotions take only an instant to process. My first reaction was dismay. I told myself to do the exercise anyway. I wondered just how heavy the weight was. Eight pounds? Ten?
Then I asked myself, “Does it really matter? Sensei thinks I can do it.”
After that heartbeat, I said, “Ossu!” and finished the set with the heavy weight.
After I finished the set, I examined the weight. Ten pounds. Twice as much weight as I had started with.
“Strive to reach your limits” is a line from our dojo kun (very rough translation: school motto). We recite the dojo kun before and after every class. It’s clear that sometimes I don’t know where my limits are. I thought it was five pounds for this exercise. Nope.
I sometimes undermine myself by thinking, “Aw, no – I can’t possibly do that!” Why?
I’ve done many things I thought I’d fail at. So why do I still sometimes undermine myself? I guess it’s human nature to be a little afraid of risks. Part of my initial dismay at seeing the bigger hand weight was fear of failure and injury. I guess this fear of taking risks is meant to keep us fully aware that there might be a saber-tooth tiger parked outside the cave entrance. The trick is to deal with this “caveman” brain rationally, like a good little homo sapiens.
The trick is trust. Trust yourself. If you’ve already decided your instructor is trustworthy, then be confident in your judgment of him or her. I’m not saying blindly trust everything – sometimes a little bit of skepticism is healthy. But do not hesitate to plunge right in and try something difficult. Your instructors probably took the same risks they’re asking you to take (hint: “Sensei” means, “one who has gone before”). They know how empowered you’ll feel when you accomplish the feat.
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Good for you Joelle – 10lb is heavy! Love the idea of you exploring all around your limits to establish where they are. It reminds me of yoga practice, when they talk about finding and working with your “edge”. If you push too far beyond it, you’re being aggressive. But if you stop short of it, you’re not stretching yourself . . .
10 pounds is heavy, and when you stop and think about 10, 20, or more pounds extra weight on your body it starts to get scary. Wellllll, sometimes a Sensei has to prod me into figuring out my limits, LOL – I’m not always good about doing that myself 😉