A Beginner's Journey

5th and final article in the series, “I Can Do Anything?“

Plenty of time + lots of hard work + tons of help from others = SUCCESS

Success might not look like what you thought when you first began pursuing it

Back in August, my belt test didn’t go quite the way I wanted it to go. It wasn’t my best performance. I could make excuses. It was outdoors at Gasshuku (extended training retreat), not at my home dojo. Whine, whine whine – I was sleep deprived because I don’t sleep well away from home and especially not in a tent. Complain, complain – I don’t like the way shoes flop around on my feet when I kick so I left them off for the entire test instead of leaving them on until kumite. As a consequence, I slipped in the dewy grass a few times. Whine, whine – the other Senseis counting for the other groups testing nearby was distracting. Complain, complain – I’m directionally dyslexic and we weren’t facing the “front” of the “dojo” when we did kata. Whine, whine, whine – we’d already worked out for an hour before breakfast and we’d worked out the evening before, so I was dog tired. So how is it I managed to succeed? For the level I was testing for there is a good bit of grace, but that’s not the whole reason.

I knew some of the challenges in advance and prepared for them. I did everything I could to ensure that I could get some sleep, so that night wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been. Besides, I should’ve been able to do everything even if the Senseis had woken me up at midnight for testing! I trained for slippery stuff underfoot. At the latitude I live in, the long summer days mean I can sneak out of the house very early in the morning and do kata on the beach. If the tide’s out, there might be some sand, but for the most part, the beaches here are composed of little smooth rocks that roll under one’s feet (I leave my shoes on – bits of shell and glass are sharp). I’d trained for more than one workout in a day – what I did was barely sufficient but then again, I was pleased to discover I had underestimated my endurance. I didn’t anticipate the other factors. But I did the best I could to train for what I thought might happen.

I could’ve opted wait for the next promotion held in a comfy, air-conditioned dojo on wood floors after a good night’s sleep, only one workout within 24 hours, and a nice, orderly progression through testing each group. But I knew I would always wonder what would’ve happened if I hadn’t embraced the challenge of testing at Gasshuku. I knew my performance was likely to be “off,” so I told myself to keep on keeping on no matter what. I did. But after awhile of making mistakes in my two strongest areas – kata and kihon, I began to think maybe I wouldn’t pass this test. As I shoved my mouth guard in and strapped the fist pads on to prepare for my weakest area (kumite), I told myself it didn’t matter if I passed. I hadn’t shrunk away from the additional challenges. I had tried. I breathed in and looked around me.

I was in a green field under a blue sky. Trees surrounding the field were sighing in a little breeze. The sun was shining down. My daughter was there cheering me on. I was surrounded by extraordinary people doing fun things. I felt like even if I failed, it was a privilege to be there. Then it happened. Right before I walked into the ring, a Bald Eagle called from somewhere very close by. Wow. My heart was filled with joy, and I had new courage to continue. I suddenly didn’t care if I failed – I was going to put my whole heart into my fight just out of sheer delight at being where I was. It turns out my best performance the whole promotion was in my weakest area. I got the belt.

 

Success can come from failure or adverse circumstances

What if I’d failed? Sometimes failure can be a stepping stone on the way to success. I would have learned, trained and practiced diligently, and passed the next test with flying colors. I would still have the memories of being outdoors, barefoot in the cool grass, and that eagle calling. Thomas Edison failed many, many times when he was trying to invent the light bulb but we don’t ever say he was a lousy inventor. As Sensei Andrea Harkins says, mistakes are meant to happen.   OK, but what if I’d slipped on the grass and injured my knee so badly I could no longer do karate?

Stuff happens. Sometimes we are blindsided – hit by catastrophe out of the blue. For that, I refer you to the success story of Joani Earickson Tada. After being paralyzed in a diving accident, she learned to paint. Sometimes we’re cut down by something we simply can’t stand against. Read Corrie Ten Boom’s autobiography The Hiding Place to find out about how a hideous infestation of lice helped her succeed in defying the Nazis right in the heart of a labor camp. Sometimes we’re rejected by someone we were counting on to help us on the road to success. Julie Andrews wasn’t cast for the movie “My Fair Lady” even though she’d played Eliza Doolitle in the theater for years. Instead, Disney hired her to play the title role in the movie “Mary Poppins.” She ended up winning Best Actress at the Academy Awards that year. The road to success for these ladies certainly wasn’t straightforward!

I’d love to succeed with everything going smoothly along a pre-programmed route, but that’s not in the cards. The road to success can be uncomfortable, to say the least. However, you might find your success to be even better than you first imagined it, especially if the journey was rough.

 

Does your success amount to a hill of beans?

“So you got your black belt. That’s nice,” my friend says as she slurps her coffee as an excuse to avert her eyes. I briefly and gently correct her about the rank, then ask about her kids.

“You barely passed? I thought it was an easy test.” Good for you, now go learn the new kata or something 🙂

“Joelle White? I don’t see her listed anywhere in this ancient book about 21st century martial arts.”

Not everyone is going to be impressed or even interested in your triumphs. I think it’s rather silly to not be interested in martial arts, but I have to keep in mind there are people who think it’s rather silly to not be interested in growing vegetables. There are people my rank who tested with me that day who had an easier time and who did better. I can live with that. Is anyone going to remember what I did four thousand years from now? Not likely – not many people today know what happened in 1986 BC. So does success matter? Oh yes it does.

Past success is something to hold onto when times are tough. Past success teaches us how to take the next step and achieve new goals. Best of all, we can tell others about our bumpy journeys to success in order to encourage them to keep pursuing their own goals.

Have you succeeded in something?  Great!  Now set some new goals.

4th article in the series, “I Can Do Anything?”

Plenty of time + lots of hard work + tons of help from others = success

Encouragement

I was visiting a sister dojo, it was the end of class, and the Sensei asked us for twenty pushups. I was already very tired from a long day and from almost an hour of intense karate. I knew I couldn’t do twenty but I was going to give it my best shot. My arms started to shake before I’d reached the number I knew I could do. I’d also fallen behind the count. I was so frustrated I was fighting tears.

 

 

Someone came alongside me and knelt down. I was too tired and discouraged to care who it was. I hoped I wasn’t in for a lecture. I heard a man’s voice quietly explain, “Form is more important than numbers right now. Tighten your core – don’t sag your belly. You got this. Now down slowly. That’s it. Now up. One more. Down slowly, and up.” The instructing Sensei finished the count and my helper quietly left so I wasn’t able to sneak a glance to confirm who it was.

If the leading Sensei had yelled at me for being weak I probably would’ve reacted badly – probably disrespectfully. I wouldn’t have gotten those extra two pushups out of my arms. Encouragement is powerful. After that class I was motivated to keep working on my pushups on my own. That’s saying a lot because I really don’t like pushups. Every day I now do as many good pushups as I can. Then I do as many as I can on my knees. I stumbled across a trick I’d been missing – I finish with as many “pushups” as I can do by standing up and leaning into the wall. (If anyone has any more tips, I’d be grateful to hear them because my progress is slow!)

For some people, encouraging others is as natural as breathing. Others, like myself, might need a lot of practice at quickly getting past negative emotions to come up with something that will build up, not tear down. I am very glad to have many good examples in my life – THANK YOU! Hearing encouraging words at just the right time feels like water on dry soil. Every time I hear or read encouraging sentiments, I learn something that I can hopefully pass along to someone else some day. Encouragement is one of the many ways others can help us be successful in the dojo and in life.

 

Teachers and Peers

We need teachers to help us along. They are the experts. Teachers have already been where you are. They know what you need to do next. Most importantly, teachers are there to push you outside your comfort zone when you need to be pushed. They give us perspective on what we do. It’s difficult for me to see what I’m doing in karate because I don’t have eyeballs outside my head. Mirrors help a little bit, but how am I supposed to know what to look for? For that I need an expert. Sure I could watch a video to try to learn a technique, but I guarantee if I show one of my Senseis that technique, he’ll spot something I missed. Teachers answer questions like, “What happens if I do it this way?” or “How does this work?” The teachings of an expert is precious and vital to success.

Peers are a blessing too. They are right alongside us, traveling the same road. It’s nice to have company on the journey. We can cheer each other on. We empathize with each other’s challenges. Sometimes when the expert isn’t around, we can at least serve as eyeballs for each other and suggest things to try. Collaboration often produces wonderful results – sometimes even effective new methods of learning. In Karate we work a lot with our peers so we know what our techniques actually do. Good peers aren’t jealous when another excels or receives an award. If we’re contributing to a peer’s success, we feel great about each others’ achievements.

 

Other Helpers

Have you ever thought about the people you don’t always see, but who are also a part of your training? Look around next tournament and see how many workers are not wearing gis or blazers and ties. Our dojo meets at a YMCA, so there’s a whole army of workers whose jobs are vital to the facility – and therefore to my training. For example, there’s a lady who slips into the locker room from time to time in order to keep things tidy. If nobody did that job – yuck! I’d probably get some sort of wierd infection and be out of class for a week. After my last promotion, I thanked my Shallow Water Aerobics instructor for helping me develop strength and endurance. If you really want to blow your mind, think about all the people needed to put together that granola bar you wolfed down before class. Yes, we all need each other!

 

It would take me quite a long time to list everyone who’s been a part of my training. If someone drilled with me, sparred with me, taught me, worked or volunteered at facilities and venues, or encouraged me they’re on the list. Some of the people who have contributed to my training don’t even do martial arts. It’s often difficult to succeed alone – and I think it’s more fun to help and be helped.

What Goes Around Comes Around

I’ve written a lot about receiving help. Let me briefly mention our obligation to give help so that others might succeed. What goes around comes around. Be willing to be a cheerful helper. Someone needs you. Go find out who it is. Encourage. Teach. Walk alongside. Do something constructive when no one’s watching. Help in some way. I guarantee you’ll get more than you give, and that, my friend, is a form of success.

 

Final post in series: success!