Unleashed

I was at college dojo today, and warm-ups barely warmed me up.  There is an optional belt test on Monday, so College Sensei pulled me out of line to go around the dojo and give feedback.  Then he had everyone sit down and called up groups by rank.  By the time I was called at the very end of class, my muscles had lost what little warmth they’d had.

I did my kata “cold.”

I sucked big time.

So that in and of itself was a lesson – get warmed up in staging before entering a tournament ring.  But College Sensei saw deeper into what was going on with me.  The whole class got to hear his feedback, and I hope they got the same things out of it I did.

Without realizing it, I was caught in the Centipede’s Dilemma:

A centipede was happy – quite!
Until a toad in fun
Said, “Pray, which leg moves after which?”
This raised her doubts to such a pitch,
She fell exhausted in the ditch
Not knowing how to run.

– Unknown

College Sensei assigned me some homework.  Get the bunkai I want down solid for each and every movement and sequence.  Then forget about pretty form and exact cadence – just unleash the beast and do the kata as if I were fighting for my life.  Do that as many times as it takes to get the drama and emotion that is lacking due to my crippling worry over all the nitpicky details.  Then go back to the proper form/cadence.

The underlying lesson for me and my kohai was this:  When your student has a big problem, try to give him or her a tool he or she can use for making improvements.

The room emptied after class, and I was alone.  I got started on my homework.  I broke all the rules.  I breathed as loudly as I wanted.  I kiai-ed whenever I darn well felt like it.  I even did a few moves faster than I’ve been told to because if I’m going to dislocate two or three joints at one go I don’t want to draw out the torture, I want to get the job done!  I think I ran through the kata about eight times before I realized I needed to scoot on home.

I was dripping with sweat and exhausted, but I felt great.  I’d just defeated a bunch of creeps who had been about to gang-rape my daughter (I’m an old-fashioned “method” actor – it’s all about motivation).  I also felt a little sad that I had strayed so far from what’s worked for me in the past – pretending I’m in a real fight, to the point where I can tell you what my attackers look like.

I didn’t feel like running the kata the way it’s supposed to go.  That can wait for tomorrow evening’s class.  I just want to let the feeling of “unleashing the beast” sink in.

Author: Joelle White

I began training in Karate in June of 2014 after a 27 year hiatus. View all posts by Joelle White